A.K.A. My first real heartbreak.
Kids, believe me when I say to you that heartbreaks at a younger age (teenage years) are much easier than when you’re already in your twenties. When you’re already in your twenties and already starting a life, it is much easier to destroy everything you have, and usually, when it’s destroyed, there’s no turning back.
It was dreadful.
Crying would be a part of my daily tasks at work. There came a time when officemates became tired of asking me how I was and just let me sob throughout the day.
Too many times, I have thought of creative ways of how I can destroy my life last year. Everything was just too painful for me to handle. It was too agonizing to be at home, all alone, with no one to talk to. Also, too many times, I have thought of revenge.
But there would be fun times too, that is when I would daydream of eloping to somewhere in Asia, preferably Singapore, starting on my own and with a new job. But then I thought, “isn’t that why I was here in Manila for? To be independent? Why would I risk of losing my job, and without a penny to my name go to another foreign land?”
Then, there’s the everyday routine where I would watch The Office every time I get home from the office (pun intended hah!). I would laugh my ass off and pretend I’m not sad. I would just leave an episode on when I get sleepy so I could sleep right through it. I did not want to have a time too silent to think or else, I would wake up with eyes that were as if stung by bees.
And then I started my short daily journal which can be found here. I put in a prefix that corresponds to the day I started just so I can see how pathetic I was being by wallowing over something that cannot be fixed. Also, I could not help to think that it was karma to the fair share of heartbreaking I did in the past.
It was hard. But I finally accepted it. No one should really get out of their single lives without one heartbreak in their resume. It’s something that if you were able to overcome, you can and you WILL be stronger immediately after the process.
Yep, heartbreaks can be such a bitch but you move on and become happier.